Costello Buys a Computer .....

ABBOTT; (behind the counter at: Super Duper computer store): "Can I help you?"

COSTELLO: "Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking about buying a computer."

ABBOTT: "Mac?"

COSTELLO: "No, the name's Lou."

ABBOTT: "Your computer?"

COSTELLO: "I don't own a computer. I want to buy one."

ABBOTT: "Mac?"

COSTELLO: "I told you, my name's Lou."

ABBOTT: "What about Windows?"

COSTELLO: "Why? Will it get stuffy in here?"

ABBOTT: "Do you want a computer with Windows?"

COSTELLO: "I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?"

ABBOTT: "Wallpaper."

COSTELLO: "Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software."

ABBOTT: "Software for Windows?"

COSTELLO: "No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?"

ABBOTT: "Office."

COSTELLO: "Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?"

ABBOTT: "I just did."

COSTELLO: "You just did what?"

ABBOTT: "Recommend something."

COSTELLO: "You recommended something?"

ABBOTT: "Yes."

COSTELLO: "For my office?"

ABBOTT: "Yes."

COSTELLO: "OK, what did you recommend for my office?"

ABBOTT: "Office."

COSTELLO: "Yes, for my office!"

ABBOTT: "I recommend Office with Windows."

COSTELLO: "I already have an office and it has windows! OK, lets just say, I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?"

ABBOTT: "Word."

COSTELLO: "What word?"

ABBOTT: "Word in Office."

COSTELLO: "The only word in office is office."

ABBOTT: "The Word in Office for Windows."

COSTELLO: "Which word in office for windows?"

ABBOTT: "The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'."

COSTELLO: "I'm going to click your blue "W" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?"

ABBOTT: "Yes, you want Real One."

COSTELLO: "Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!"

ABBOTT: "Real One."

COSTELLO: "If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2,3 & 4. Can I watch them?"

ABBOTT: "Of course."

COSTELLO: "Great, with what?"

ABBOTT: "Real One."

COSTELLO; "OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?"

ABBOTT: "You click the blue '1'."

COSTELLO: "I click the blue one what?"

ABBOTT: "The blue '1'."

COSTELLO: "Is that different from the blue 'W'?"

ABBOTT: "The blue "1" is Real One and the blue 'W' is Word."

COSTELLO: "What word?"

ABBOTT: "The Word in Office for Windows."

COSTELLO: "But there are three words in 'office for windows'!"

ABBOTT: "No, just one. but it's the most popular Word in the world."

COSTELLO: "It is?"

ABBOTT: "Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there."

COSTELLO: "And that word is real one?"

ABBOTT: "Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office."

COSTELLO: "Stop! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping, you have anything I can track my money with?"

ABBOTT: "Money."

COSTELLO: "That's right. What do you have?"

ABBOTT: "Money."

COSTELLO: "I need money to track my money?"

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer."

COSTELLO: "What's bundled to my computer?"

ABBOTT: "Money."

COSTELLO: "Money comes with my computer?"

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge."

COSTELLO: "I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?"

ABBOTT: "One copy."

COSTELLO: "Isn't it illegal to copy money?"

ABBOTT: "Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money."

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: "Why not? THEY OWN IT!"

COSTELLO: "How do I turn my computer off?"

ABBOTT: "Click on 'START'........"