Even More Puns
1	A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
2	A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
3	Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
4	Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
5	Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
6	A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
7	A man died falling into a giant vat of boiling coffee. "He didn't suffer," said his widow. "It was instant."
8	Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
9	What's the definition of a will?  (It's a dead give away.)
10	The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
11	She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
12	A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
13	Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana.
14	In democracy your vote counts.  In feudalism your count votes.
15	He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
16	Acupuncture is a jab well done.
17	Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
18	Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
19	When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
20	Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.
21	A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
22	A boiled egg in the morning  is hard to beat.
23	A lot of money is tainted: Tain't yours and tain't mine.
24	If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
25	Every calendar's days are numbered.
26	Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.
27	You  feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
28	Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death.
29	Practise safe eating - always use condiments.
30	Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
31	A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
32	Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.