| Puns Galore ... |  |
Successful dieters should be given the Nobelly prize.
A first year student was having a lot of trouble with his floppy Dick.
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
If you want a metal dog leash go to a chain store.
What is the best store to be in during an earthquake? A stationery store!
You have to give credit to people who work in stores during a holiday - and many people do.
A men's wear store has opening and clothing times.
Sign on a music store window: 'Come in, pick out a drum, then beat it!'
A music store owner has to have sound business practices.
Some music stores are in a CD part of town.
At a music store: 'hear here'.
A pet store had a bird contest with no perches necessary.
A music store had a small sign which read: Bach in a Minuet.
For greeting card stores, their fate is in the cards.
A book store and clothing store merged under the name Text-Aisles.
A jewellery store wanting to market necklaces started a chain letter.
The staff at jewellery stores have hearts of gold.
A start-up company making rubber bands had to stretch their budget, but they managed to hold things together.
Drug research companies have created their own cold rush.
A tire company loves a chance to roll out a new product.
The one thing that is constant is change, especially if you are a cashier.
A bankrupt window installer felt the pane of shattered dreams.
A clothing store owned by Benny provided many Benny-fits.
Pearl, Opal, and Ruby all work in a jewelry store with Grace.
Mrs. Pickering works in a jewelery store.
Looting a drugstore is called Pillaging.
When a ladder was stolen from a store the manager said that further steps would be taken.
Did you hear about the tire dealer that had a blowout sale?
To find bargains, go where the auction is.
When tires are up it's due to inflation.
He stayed at the auction to the bidder end.
No-fault insurance does not cover earthquakes.
Don't let a candy seller sweet talk you.
After he bought a mirror he became very reflective.
Businesses selling pleasure boats often have a sail.
Watches can be displayed and sold on a time table.
A china doll was marked in tiny letters: 'maid in USA'.
A book called 'Current Trends in Wiring your House' turned out to be a shocking failure.
When purchasing soap, if you buy two and get one free, that's a bar-gain.
Spray paint sells for a good mark up.
Can a piece of antique clothing be uncomfortable? Of corset can.
Those who find bargain antiques like to junk for joy.
If you want to buy a hose, you might go on a shopping spray.
Some shoe sales have a good selection to boot.
Used shoes can be re-soled.
Fashion is something that goes in one era and out the other.
When bottled water is cheap it's called a liquidation sale.
When he forgot to itemize what he wanted at the grocery store he felt quite listless.
Straw hats are no longer in their hay day.
To get a wig, bald men have toupee a lot of money.
If you buy the same sound system as everyone else, you are a stereo-type.
Can a piece of antique clothing be uncomfortable? Of corset can.
If you want to buy a hose, you might go on a shopping spray.
Selling gasoline too cheaply would be fuelish.
You decide what kind of light bulbs to buy by a process of illumination.
After taking the elevator to the top floor I felt very up-lifted.
Some power saws are a cut above the rest.
TRADING AND CURRENCY
A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
If the mint makes 25 cent pieces it should expect quarterly profits.
What investors have to lose weight? Stocky brokers.
Stocks and bonds were originally used to imprison people. Have things changed that much now that we have the stock market?
Securities are the cause of many people's insecurities.
In the stock market, mining hit rock bottom while cows steered into a bull market.
On the commodities exchange when the price of corn goes up, some farmers are all ears. Others are only interested in the stalk market.
The New York stock exchange has roamin' numerals.
A primitive tribe known as the Inno had no money - until they reached the age of Inno cents.
When the government designs a new penny, the number of government workers that have to approve the design is ten per cent.
If you need to count your pennies, you are definitely looking for a disc-count.
A personal financial dilemma is known as a bill pickle.
A man with no pennies got into senseless trouble.
If you find ten cents in each of your pockets, be glad of the new paradigms.
People who work at a mint make a lot of money.
The sum total of our national debt is some total.
What you can buy for a dollar these days is absolute noncents.
Two mining companies merged, and became alloys.
Donating items to sit on is called chairity.
BANKING AND FINANCE
Whenever I go near my bank I get withdrawal symptoms.
The fine print is usually a clause for suspicion.
In business, reaching higher is good, unless it's a bank teller during a stickup.
A bank manager without anyone around may find themself a-loan.
Old bankers never die, they just pass the buck.
Bankers might have their own interest at heart when discussing alone with you.
Some bankers are generous to a vault. 55. Two banks with different rates have a conflict of interest.
Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance.
An accountant at a coffee company is known as a bean counter.
An accountant for a restaurant has to be sure the books are not cooked.
A bank manager who was also a high jumper spent most of his time in the vault.
Some business graphs are full of legend.