Alternative Definitions 5-a-side - killing of a boy band Ambush - a shrub similar to a bacon tree Antidote - a child being spoilt by its parent's sister Aromatic - gadget used by robin hood Awestruck - being whacked on the head in the whaler Camper - smooth-running engine Cantaloupe - unable to run away and get married Carouser - vehicle alarm clock Carpentry - a way-in for ornamental fish Creche - a high-class road accident. Catalyst - organised pussy Catastrophe - mounted head of cat on wall Catholic - heretical oral sex Circumspect: 180° vision glasses Claude monet - what happens when your cat gets hold of your wallet Corners house - house corners put on badly Counterpane - post office employee Countryside - to kill George Bush Cricket - a pain in the neck Defence - something to stop the animals wandering off Derelict - pleasant experience in ireland Dilute - welsh fence Dip(h)thong - to wash an undergarment Diverging - unsuccessful welsh lothario Extractor fan - someone who used to like farm vehicles Faction - economical with the truth Feckless - unsuccessful Irish lothario Felixstowe - to drag a cat Hansons - German's offspring Homophile - place where people you don't know what to do with are stored for future Homerphobe - someone who doesn't like the Simpsons Homophone - gay call box Huanita - a spanish lady with only one tooth Inconvenience - not available Insane - fell in the river in Paris Insolent - fell off the Isle of Wight ferry Intention - to pointedly ignore a fellow camper Ipswich - surgical procedure relating to the upper leg Leprechaun - variety of wheat whose ears fall off Lupine - toilet freshener Manoeuvre - vacuum cleaner for males Marmite - mum's possibly up for it Minute - my very own little lizard Negligent - a man who wears lingerie Omni potent - can get it up all the time Parsnip - dad's vasectomy Per haps - dodgy Norwegian footballer Picaninny - election for new conservative leader Pillock: medicine cupboard Piston - one who is taken advantage of Placebo - a spanish tenor who does nothing for me Plebicite - web page for commoners Poppycock - November 11th streaker Portent - the millennium dome Pre-raphaelite - one who leaves before the raffle Rectitude - the angle at which a thermometer should be inserted Scum - it has arrived Section - to decline a prostitute's offer Shakeshaft - wild axeman who's lost his head Spinach - skin irritation from sitting too close to alistair campbell Splint - run very fast with broken leg Stretch poole - elastic snooker table Submission - naval task Tango - winter blues Telepathy - when you can't be bothered to change channels Tomahawk - a vegetable of prey Urdu - a Merseyside coiffure Veneer - Flemish painter of floorboards Wallaby - someone aspiring to be a kangaroo Wench - spanner belonging to Jonathan Ross Whoba - a miserable pub Woolvo - a Swedish car wearing a jersey