Coffee , n. the person upon whom one coughs.

Flabbergasted , adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

Abdicate , v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Esplanade , v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.

Willy-nilly , adj. impotent.

Negligent , adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

Lymph , v. to walk with a lisp.

Gargoyle , n. olive-flavored mouthwash.

Flatulence , n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

Balderdash , n. a rapidly receding hairline..

Testicle , n. a humorous question on an exam.

Rectitude , n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

Pokemon , n.. a Rastafarian proctologist.

Oyster , n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

Frisbeetarianism , n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

Circumvent , n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men

testiculating: Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.

blamestorming: Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

seagull manager . : A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and Then leaves.

salmon day : The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

moozuki - motorised cow

eur-ozone - nasty smell

Mr Blair, the Prime Sinister