Quasimodo & the Magic Mirror


Here’s a joke lifted from an old episode of ISIHAC, credited to Jeremy Hardy (but helped along by Graeme Garden, Barry Cryer and Tim Brooke-Taylor):

Snow White, Tom Thumb and Quasimodo were sat in a bar having a drink together. Snow White announced to the group, “Hey, I have this great thing to show you - it’s a magic mirror, that you can ask questions to it’ll speak the answers back to you!”. The other two sound intrigued, so she speaks to the mirror and says, “Mirror, mirror, from my handbag, who is the fairest of them all?”. The mirror replies, “Why, Snow White, you are the fairest of them all.”

Tom Thumb says, “Wow, that’s amazing! Can I try?”. “Okay.” said Snow White, and Tom Thumb proceeded to ask the mirror “Mirror, mirror, from Snow White’s handbag, who is the smallest of them all?”. “Why, Tom Thumb, you are the smallest of them all.” it replied.

Snow White then turned to Quasimodo and said “Why don’t you try?”. He replied “I don’t want to, I’ll get all embarrassed.” So Snow White then said “Well, why don’t you go in the corner where we can’t hear?”. “Okay then”, Quasimodo replied, and he took the mirror and went into the corner. A moment later, he returned, and said:

“Who on earth is Ann Widdecombe?”