Excerpts from' Anguished English', by Richard Lederer, of sentences
which were actually written by real students in real classes in the
- Having one wife is called monotony.
- In 1957, Eugene O'Neill won a pullet surprise.
- Inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.
- In nineteenth century Russia, the pheasants led horrible lives.
- Although the patient had never been fatally ill before, he woke up dead.
- Arabs wear turbines on their heads.
- A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle.
- A virtuoso is a musician with really high morals.
- We had a longer holiday than usual this year because the school was closed for altercations.
- My wife must take things easy now that she is stagnant.
- The three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars.
- To be a good nurse, you must be absolutely sterile.
- Abstinence is a good thing if practised in moderation.
- Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.
- Unfortunately, we can't have children as my wife is inconceivable.
- Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.
- The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer.
- In midevil times most people were alliterate.
- People put on plays about ghosts, goblins, virgins and other mythical creatures.
- Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet.