MORE QUIPS

- I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

- Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

- Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

- To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

- The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

- A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

- When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

- The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

- A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

- A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

- A will is a dead giveaway.

- A backward poet writes inverse.

- A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion

- With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

- A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting in linoleum blownapart.

- A calendar's days are numbered.

- If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine!

- When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

- Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

- Acupuncture:a jab well done