Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a
sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous.


1
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
2
I didn't say it was your fault, just that I was blaming you.
3
I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
4
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
6
In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify ..... " I answered: "a doctor."
7
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8
Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
9
The last thing I want to do is hurt you ... but it's still on my list of three things.
10
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
11
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
12
War does not determine who is right, only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)
13
We never really grow up - we only learn how to act in public.
14
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
15
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
16
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
17
Planes do not crash very often - only once in fact.
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