Humphrey Lyttleton Jokes

Lyttelton was famous for his delivery of double entendres on "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue." Most featured the escapades of the show's fictitious scorer, Samantha:

'Samantha's just started keeping bees and already has three dozen or so. She says she's got an expert handler coming round to give a demonstration. He'll carefully take out her 38 bees and soon have them flying round his head.'

'Samantha has to nip off to the National Opera, where she's been giving private tuition to the singers. Having seen what she did to the baritone, the director is keen to see what she might do for a tenor.'

'Samantha has to nip off to a Welsh Conservative Association dinner for their most senior MP, whose name is said to be almost impossible to pronounce. She's certainly found the longest-standing Welsh member a bit of a mouthful.'

'Samantha has to go now as she's off to meet her Italian gentleman friend who's taking her out for an ice-cream. She says she likes to spend the evening licking the nuts off a large Neapolitan.'

'Samantha does a few chores for an elderly gentleman who lives nearby. She shows him how to use the washing machine and then prunes his fruit trees. Later he'll hang out his pyjamas as he watches her beaver away up the ladder.'

'After tasting the meat pies, Samantha said she liked Mr Dewhurst's beef in ale; although she preferred his tongue in cider.'